Monthly Archives: June 2012

Change [part one]: Two Sides to the Coin

Posted on by

7

I have a tumultuous relationship with change. The usual modus operandi of Amy is to shy away from change, to resist forward movement with all my being, and cement my feet into the spot I am in. I settle for the long term.

However, there are other times when I forge ahead. Run into places where angels fear to tread. Make seismic shifts in my lifestyle and big decisions without over-analysing the situation beforehand.  This from the woman who takes ten minutes to decide between muesli and porridge for breakfast. Yep.

After a few big changes in my life over the past twelve months (some by choice, others most definitely out of my control), and some serious mental work to get through them and out the other side; I decided that I want to understand my relationship with change. Whether I like it or not, life is going to keep advancing, bending and flexing in different directions. Arthur Schopenhauer said ‘change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal’. I want to be able to adapt to the inevitable changes in my life. To move with and through each change healthily. To treat change as an opportunity rather than a threat.

To live a thoroughly nourished life I believe it is essential to seek the areas in your life that require extra encouragement to thrive. To feel out the dormant roots and foster them to grow. This growth might be painful, in fact in most cases it will be, but persistence and passion are rewarded with the sweetest fruits of labour: a life authentically yours.

Over the next few weeks I will be tackling each stage of change (in the uber sexy sounding transtheoretical model of change), and looking at how I can approach each stage in a healthy manner. What I need to do, ask, say, and act out, in order to make the most of change opportunities to grow my life, while remaining true to myself.

Dear readers, how do you approach changes in your life? Do you feel that you have a healthy relationship with change, and dealing with what comes about in your life?

On the shelf: on a night like this

Posted on by

9

Tonight, the world is closing in on itself. Outside my window the view is obscured by rain; night is a damp, cold shroud over our house. No starlight can break through the cover of cloud. We are huddled in our little house, under blankets with our hands wrapped around mugs of tea. A little craving satisfied by a few chocolates, some strawberries from the local farm, and a few crackers with creamy dollops of avocado.

Here in this closed in world we are together, but alone. We all retreat to our corners to occupy our minds and hands with that which soothes our soul. Mum watches TV and loses herself in solving crimes. Dad drafts, and plans, and makes bits and pieces come back to life. The newlyweds do university work, or plan for their future.

Me? I read. Sometimes books, sometimes magazines, sometimes the beautifully crafted words of those who participate in this small, vast world of blogging.

On a night like this, I am losing myself in the words and images of these talented and insightful folks:

  • Dreaming of my next grand adventure in the USA. I long to criss-cross the landscape, revel in the view outside my window, and be privy to small towns that are missed in guidebooks. I was thinking of driving, but this article in Audobon Magazine makes me think a train journey would be pleasant. I wonder if I could hop off somewhere in Colorado for a hiking trip?
  • Falling even more in love with making bread, and wondering if I could have a bonfire night where I could use this idea from the inspiring lads and lasses at Kinfolk.
  • I purchased ‘Tender Vol. 1‘ over a year ago, and received ‘Tender Vol. 2′ (a.k.a. ‘Ripe’) for my birthday. I admired their weighty promise on first glance, and managed a cursory look when they first came into my possession. On these long nights I am enjoying the conversation of Nigel Slater, the evocative earthiness of his words, and the new life he is breathing into my vegetables and fruits. Expect inspired recipes here soon.

Cliff House – San Francisco. Another rainy day. Hope to be back soon…

My bed is calling to me early tonight. I am going to hibernate under the blankets and warm myself with dreams of travel, the heat of a proving oven, and summer tomatoes from an English garden….

Just a thought

Posted on by

3

What does ‘nourished’ mean to me?

Nourished conveys a richness and kindness in the way you feed every aspect of your life.

The care you show yourself and others so that you can truly flourish.

Nourishing yourself is about taking care in the way you interact with, and care for,  your mind, body, and soul.

Being attuned to what you are really hungry for: mentally, spiritually, physically.

You can’t nourish yourself without nourishing those around you; Saint Francis had it right ‘for it is in giving that we receive’.

So fill the plates of others, and you will receive the nourishment that you need the most.

Tell me dear readers, what does nourished mean to you?

Remember to Play!

Posted on by

7

I am not the most serious of people, however, I can be quite…sombre sometimes. I tend to get a little lost in the lanes and byways of my mind and end up picking apart situations, and opportunities into a million little pieces. I get caught in a web of my own thinking and spiral down more rabbit holes than Alice ever did. When these times come, and come along they always will, I need to remember one thing: to go out and play!

No better cure exists for serious grown up thoughts, and self examination, than a good old childish play. Sometimes I need to just listen to my eight year old self and leave worries behind. Romp, race, rejoice in the moment, and revel in the sheer pleasure of being alive and in the world.

Today, when I was lost in some thoughts that I needed to leave alone for a little while, I popped my iPod in my ears, slipped my feet into my runners and took off for a walk. When I happened across a pile of leaves on my path I remembered what I needed to do in order to forget my troubles and, wait for it, come on and get happy!

I needed to kick up the leaves. I needed to pick up big handfuls and toss them in the air and let them rain down on me in their brilliant winter kaleidoscope. I just needed to play. When I got back home I decided to write myself a list of all the childish things I can do when I feel the need to cheer myself up.

Then I decided to share it with you just in case you need to remember to play, here are some of the things that make me revert back to eight year old Amy.

  • Piles of leaves (well, obviously) – just ready to throw into the air
  • Wearing flowers in my hair
  • Dancing in thunderstorms – living in the semi-tropics is great in summer
  • Singing along to every Disney movie ever made
  • Freckle lollies (you have to sandwich them together though)
  • Playing Twister
  • Running in and out of the waves at the beach
  • Cartoons on a Saturday morning (oh, how I am glad we don’t have pay TV in our house)
  • Walking barefoot through the grass on a warm spring afternoon
  • Playing dress-ups (in my own wardrobe now)
  • Face paints (this one is for special occasions only…)
Now, dear readers, what do you do to play?
What brings out your eight year old self?

 

Good Things: Early to Rise

Posted on by

3

Moments where the stillness of the world, and the fogginess of the dawn, reflect into your own heart, and calm the tides of your thoughts, are rare in this world. I believe when we get the chance to welcome peace and quiet into our hearts that we should embrace it with open arms. I seek peaceful moments in my life and at the moment, although I spend a lot of time alone and lost in my thoughts, I need them, I crave them. If only to still me for a little while. To allow me to escape the loops and whirls of the million thoughts carousing in my brain.

Early Thursday morning I set out to follow Mum and Molly on their usual walk to the dog park. Every morning, summer and winter, Mum gets up before dawn and takes our three-legged lady for a stroll (well, she’s a malamute so it’s never really a stroll). Sometimes, I wake early to accompany them for the first mile of my run. Yesterday the day dawned foggy. So foggy that it was like walking into the set of a real life Brigadoon. Through the mists we strode, four rugged up human feet and three dancing, prancing puppy paws. The pastel streaks of a winter sunrise bloomed across the sky and our breaths came out in small steam train puffs as we crunched through the dew-tipped grass.

I left Mama and Molly in the company of their furry friends, and companion humans, and continued on my way. I started by telling myself that I would just walk; just saturate myself in the quiet of the morning and the expanse that one senses in the hours before most of the world awakens – my favourite time of the day. However, inside me there was the need to run, to chase the fleeting dawn, and to arrive breathless, sweating, and warm back at home where I could revive with a nice sweet cup of tea. So I did. I ran up hill and over dale, and felt the chilled air slicing into my lungs as I sucked deep breathes greedily in after climbing the hill. I ran, and found freedom just in the movement, and stillness despite the racing of my heart.

The rest of the suburb came to life around me, and busy people made their way to work, and school, and onto the other things, the bigger things that consume our thoughts. Here I was though, with that hour and a bit of quiet, of recalibration, of stillness in movement. A place, a sweaty memory, that I could retreat back to when I needed to calm myself in the crush of bodies, and other people’s minds and thoughts, that makes up our daily life. I am lucky. These are the good things in my life. The good moments of just being. Not expecting anything of myself other than to keep putting one foot in front of the other; not expecting any more of the world than the new light of day, and a path beneath my feet.

So dear reader, where do you find your stillness? Are you a dawn chaser like me, or a night owl?

Coconut Cranberry Scrolls

Posted on by

2

Wednesday. Already the middle of the week again. I know that I am already thinking of the downward spiral that leads from the weekly peak of Wednesday to the under-the-covers-snuggle-pit that is the weekend. What better way to entertain thoughts and dreams of the weekend than to contemplate breakfast goodies that are sure to signal a sweet start.

Without further ado my friends, I present Coconut Cranberry Scrolls. Perfect for a weekend breakfast, brunch, or any other smackeral of snacking in between.

Coconut cranberry scrolls with coconut frosting

Coconut Cranberry Scrolls

Inspired by, and adapted from, this beautiful recipe by Kim Laidlaw, in this book. While there are several steps involved in this process, and it can take a few hours from start to finish, there is a large amount of inactive time. If you like you can put this in the refrigerator overnight and simply bake them in the morning. If you would like to take that option I have included a note below. Besides, when you smell the sweet coconut and jam smell wafting from the oven you will be pleased you indulged in the ancient comfort of bread making.

Ingredients

For the rolls:

  • 2 1/4 teaspoons dry yeast
  • 3/4 cup milk
  • 1/4 cup caster sugar
  • 4 eggs
  • 4 1/2 cups wholemeal flour
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  • 6 tablespoons butter, at room temperature

For the filling:

  • 1/3 cup mixed berry jam
  • 2/3 cup dried cranberries
  • 2/3 cup dessicated coconut

For the frosting:

  • 2/3 cup dessicated coconut
  • 1 cup icing sugar
  • Water

Dough in progress


Making your dough:

  1. Place milk in a microwave-safe bowl and warm in the microwave for about 45 seconds. It should be warmer than skin temperature but not boiling. Pour milk into a large bowl and add yeast. Mix to dissolve.
  2. Allow yeast and milk to stand about 10 minutes. If your yeast hasn’t foamed after this time it is off so you will need to invest in some new yeasty creatures to get the best results.
  3. Add the sugar, eggs, flour, and salt. Mix with a spoon to form a shaggy dough. You can add a little more flour if need be.
  4. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured bench, and dot with the butter. Knead dough until smooth and elastic. This will take about 7 minutes. You may need to flour the bench a few times when you first start kneading.
  5. After you have finished kneading place dough in a large oiled bowl and cover the bowl with plastic wrap. Place in a warm spot to rise until it doubles in size. This will take about 1 1/2 to 2 hours.

Start scrolling:

  1. Line a baking dish with baking paper. Turn out dough onto a floured bench, and punch it down. Cut dough in half.
  2. Working with one half and a floured rolling pin. Roll out the dough into a rectangle measuring about 25 x 35 centimetres.
  3. Warm the jam slightly in the microwave for about 20 seconds. Spread half the jam on the dough. Sprinkle with 1/3 cup of the coconut and then 1/3 cup of cranberries.
  4. Starting from the long edge closest to you, roll across the dough to form a log.
  5. Using a piece of cotton (or unflavoured dental floss) cut the log of dough into 8 pieces. Place these (cut side down) onto the lined baking dish.
  6. Repeat process with the other half of the dough.
  7. Cover the dish lightly with plastic wrap, and allow to rise once again, in a warm spot. [If you would like to you can put them in the refrigerator at this point, and then just take them out an hour before you would like to cook them in the morning.
  8. Preheat the oven to 200 degrees Celsius.

Third and final act:
  1. Slide the puffily pretty rolls into the oven and bake for 20-25 minutes. Your rolls should be a beautiful golden brown, and a skewer inserted into the middle will come out clean.
  2. Remove rolls from the oven and while they cool a little prepare the frosting.
  3. To make the frosting simply mix coconut and icing sugar with enough water to make a thick paste.
  4. Drizzle frosting over warm rolls. Take a moment to revel in the blend of yeast, coconut, and warm fruit that will now perfume your immediate vicinity. This is life. This is good.
  5. Serve to your family, friends, or anyone who might randomly show up lured by the comforting promise that is baking bread. Or, gobble up as many as you can and enjoy some soul restoring alone time.

Just one more, just because I can….

A little teaser – with cinnamon scrolls…

Posted on by

4

This weekend was spent taking long, mist filled morning walks with my little sister…

We enjoyed the brisk air for 5 wonderful miles before hurrying home to defrost beside the oven and cook up some breakfast for Mum, Dad, and Trent.

From this wonderful recipe.

I prepared the dough on Saturday night while Jess and I indulged in some tragically attentive viewing of ‘The Bachelor’, and left them to slowly prove in the fridge over night. They came to room temperature as we greeted the morning with our walk, and when we returned I slid them into the oven and iced them before bringing them to the table.

Unfortunately I was not able to partake of the goodies (I made them on wheat flour), but next time, oh next time sweet cinnamon rolls, we shall meet over a cup of tea, and you shall not be safe…

After making these heaven-scented treats I was inspired to come up with my own scroll recipe. Check back later in the week for my Coconut Cranberry Scrolls. In the meantime check out this wonderful new book from Williams Sonoma (my source for these treats).

Sweet Sunday: Sugary Chocolate Fudge

Posted on by

6

The scent of cocoa and boiling sugar wafting from my stove summons memories from my childhood so vivid that I can almost feel myself shrinking back to six-year-old size with long brown pigtails and a Minnie Mouse printed t-shirt sticking to my back in the summer heat. My Mum is standing at the stove stirring a batch of sweet, sugary fudge that will become a Christmas present for my teacher. She talks me carefully through the process, telling me that I am too small to make the fudge at the moment but one day I can do this for myself. I wait for her to pour the batch into the lined loaf tin, and then she hands me the spoon to lick. A sticky film of fudge clings to the curves of our special spoon. Mum waits for the saucepan to cool a little before she scrapes off the fudge that didn’t make it to the setting pan and we pick at the shards of sugar crystals while the larger batch cools and sets.

Boiling fudge

On the stove top – oh yes, this smell is heaven.

This tradition was repeated at many Christmas times, and other moments in between. This fudge to me has always summoned a feeling of comfort from my Mum, an echo from childhood, and also a feeling of competition with Dad – his sweet tooth knows no bounds and you have to be quick to secure your piece before all the rest ‘mysteriously disappears’.

One of my favourite memories of this fudge is when I had my wisdom teeth out. Apart from the aesthetic suffering of looking like a chipmunk who had been in a bar fight (oh, this pasty white face bruises really easily apparently), I was unable to eat as I couldn’t open my mouth very far and chewing sounded like an instrument of torture. Mum had made a batch of this fudge, and in my desperate state, I found that I could slice it very thinly and push pieces into my mouth where they could melt and pool in cocoa and sugar goodness. Not that I told my orthodontist that I was living on fudge for two weeks when I went back to have my stitches pulled out….

Some for the pan…some for me…

So we came to this Friday evening, our inaugural winter M*A*S*H* marathon, and what better sweet treat to have by our sides than a batch of this fudge. Make it now, or save the recipe for the night when only the sweetest of treats will do.

Sugary Chocolate Fudge

Ingredients

  • 2 cups white sugar
  • 1/3 cup cocoa powder
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 2 teaspoons butter
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Method

  1. Line a 9 x 5 inch loaf tin with baking paper and set aside.
  2. Combine sugar, cocoa powder and milk in a saucepan and set over medium heat.
  3. Bring mixture to the boil for 3 minutes.
  4. Remove from the heat and add butter. Beat until sugary, which should take about 4 -5 minutes.
  5. Add vanilla essence and stir, then pour mixture into prepared tin and allow to cool.
  6. Once fudge has set cut into small squares.

Shards of heaven

Sadly, there was no fudge left in our house after morning tea on Saturday. Only sticky sweet memories remain…

Thursday – Good Things: Leading a Double Life

Posted on by

2

Are you leading a double life?

I suppose in a sense I am, and I would like to be doing it even more.

Confused yet?

No. I am not secretly Batgirl (but hey Christopher Nolan I am free if you need me…)

Yesterday I came across an article on the Whole Living Daily blog that discusses living your dreams at the same time as playing along with the reality of your situation.

In other words taking something you are passionate about, and expressing it while also paying the bills and taking care of the necessities of life. Like an actress who works as a waitress while waiting for her big break, or a talented designer who does a 9-5 retail job, or a wannabe cookbook author/publisher who works in health research.

All of us have a driving passion, a big dream for life, that we long to pursue. Some of us are lucky enough to be passionate about our work, and I certainly have a degree of passion for my job, but sometimes it feels a little stifling, like I am not truly living the whole picture of what I would love my life to be.

In this article Robin Fisher Roffer talks about asking yourself what it is you truly want out of life, what are your dreams, and then daring to make them come true. Even if that means working a 9-5 and saving your outside time to paint, record music, bake, design furniture, coach football, or whatever your true passion is. When you sit with the big question (well, one of them at least) of what you truly want, what you really need out of your life, it is daunting. When you come to the end, what will make you able to say that you really lived your life, rather than just existed in those days?

Not all of us can throw in our jobs, walk away, and start over doing what we really want. What we can do is start small. Do something, anything, that feeds that hunger for something more: take university courses at night, make furniture in your garden shed, crochet designer berets and sell them on etsy, volunteer to help coach high school football teams on the weekend – whatever you have to do in order to fill that hole –  just make it happen.

In my world that means being a part time health researcher, a part time student, a part time baker, writer, and blogger, and always searching for the next step towards making the bigger picture come to light. The trick is to make every day worth it. Even if you have an eight hour day at work, a three hour course at night, and a two hour commute. Find some time to write, or make a nice meal, or connect with other bloggers. Although it isn’t my ideal long term picture, for now at least I am feeding my soul and working at loving my life every day, while finding a way to making my bigger dreams happen.

So dear reader, what is your true passion? Do you live a double life, or how do you feed your soul while putting food on the table?

Wednesday ‘On the Shelf’: The gift of fairy tales

Posted on by

6

Once upon a time…
In a kingdom far, far away…
There lived a brave…
There lived a beautiful…
An enchanted forest where dragons, elves, and fairies dwell surrounded the castle…

There is something about fairy tales that whispers to our soul. Across ages, pages, and the passage of time, a deeper part of ourselves recognises and identifies with the lure of once upon a time, and the promise of happily ever after.
Fairy tales amplify all the parts of human nature; the good, the bad, and the ugly become the saintly and effervescent, the wicked and evil, and the warty and weird.
Our beginnings, average and suburban, become once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away.
Our homes become castles, our challenges and fears become dragons and evil queens.
Everyday life and the steps we take to move towards our dreams are woven into quests and searches for lost treasure.
Unexpected delights and the rewards for hard work are transformed into magic, true love’s first kiss, and happily ever after.

Fairy tales existed long before the wonderful Grimms brothers and Hans Christian Anderson decided to write them down. These tales are of a deeper time, a far away time, which may or may not have existed, but they have lessons for us in contemporary society. Simple to complex, heartening to terrifying, these tales carry messages that are timeless. Morals and ethics woven throughout the trials and triumphs of fair maidens and knights in shining armour. Fairy tales are finding a place in psychotherapy to help people explore deeper themes and trials in their life. Through identifying with characters and situations patients are able to navigate their way through disturbances in their lives and find hope and healing and even their own happy end.

My favourite fairy tale has always been ‘Beauty and the Beast’. The central tenet that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, not the reflection of the beholden, and that beauty lies in the heart of everyone.

I truly believe that we all find our happily ever afters but we need to keep our eyes open to recognise them, because sometimes they don’t start in a castle with once upon a time.

My dear reader, what is your favourite fairy tale and why?