I was going to talk about something else in this post; another matter that is of some importance to me, but no relation as to the reason I baked these cakes.
One of my best friends called me out on my avoidance, so here is the raw truth (in baked form): sometimes I am scared of my feelings.
Sometimes they make me anxious and crash like waves, each successively higher and I feel swamped and cold and unable to move for fear of being sucked under.
Sometimes my feelings are full of bubbles and they gather in my chest and lift me higher, and higher, and I am afraid of coming down.
So, I bake.
Yesterday I baked because I don’t know how to say ‘Do you want to get a drink sometime?’
I baked because when he smiles at me my heart does flip-flops and I am sort-of excited and sort-of scared to feel this way again.
I bake because I want him to remember me, the way he remembers my coffee order every Saturday morning.
I bake because I show emotion through food, it is the language my heart and hands translate their feelings into.
Sugar, butter, eggs, and flour are the way I show my hope, curiosity, and the weird/nice tingly feeling in my toes.
I bake so I can linger a little longer with his smile.
So, yes, I am scared that you don’t speak the language of food, and that I don’t know how to say the words out loud.
So, could you be brave, just ask me out.
(and I’ll say yes.)
Orange and Blueberry Pound Cake with Orange Glaze
This makes two 4.5 inch x 8.5 inch cakes. I kept one for my family, and gave one away… You could also freeze one before you glaze the cake. Just wrap very well in baking paper and then plastic wrap. Defrost when desired, will keep for about two months.
- 3/4 cup butter, softened
- 2 1/2 cups + 2 tablespoons plain flour
- 1 tablespoon baking powder
- 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
- 1 1/2 cups sugar
- 2 tablespoons grated orange zest
- 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1/2 cup Greek-style yoghurt
- 5 large eggs
- 1/4 cup rice bran oil (or other flavourless vegetable oil)
- 2 tablespoons orange juice
- 2 cups of fresh blueberries tossed in 1 teaspoon of plain flour (this will stop them from sinking)
- 1 3/4 cups icing sugar
- 3 tablespoons orange juice
- Preheat your oven to 180C (350F) and position a shelf in the middle of the oven. Line two 4.5 x 8.5 inch loaf tins with baking paper.
- In a medium bowl sift together flour, baking powder, and salt.
- In the large bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment beat together butter, sugar, orange zest, vanilla, and yoghurt until fluffy.
- Add eggs one at a time, and beat until well incorporated after each addition. Scrape down the sides of the bowl when needed.
- Beat in oil and juice.
- Add flour and mix until just combined. Add blueberries and fold into batter gently by hand. Use an up-and-over motion, and be careful not to squash the berries.
- Divide batter between the loaf tins and smooth the tops.
- Slide cakes gently into the oven and bake for 45-60 minutes. Cakes are cooked when a wooden skewer inserted into the middle comes out with only a few moist crumbs clinging to it.
- Allow to cool in the tins for 5 minutes before turning out onto a cooling rack. Let cakes cool completely before spreading glaze over the top.
- To make the glaze: mix together orange juice and icing sugar until smooth and thick. Spread over cooled cake.
If you are a baker, or cook, do you show your emotions through the food you make?
If you are not a food person, how do you express your emotions?