Category Archives: Running

Winter is Coming…

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Winter is coming. Right now I am sitting inside my cosy little house listening to my Mum rattle around the kitchen making pumpkin soup for dinner while the rain plinks gently on our roof. The sun has deserted the sky even earlier tonight and the rain clouds are obscuring the winter stars. Our home has been filled with the scent of baking for much of the afternoon, and the chocolate chip cookie I snuck in before dinner was just as warming as the red knitted socks on my feet.

A season of sweaters and sweet warm tea. (source)

A season of sweaters and sweet warm tea.
(source)

Yes, winter is coming and this year I am determined to enjoy the cold season. Winter, to be honest, is not my favourite season of the year, and I am so grateful that I live in Brisbane where the winter season doesn’t last for too long and isn’t overly nasty. Conversely though, I love to travel during winter; Melbourne with its driving icy rain and cold that seeps into your bones is my favourite place to spirit away to for a few weeks in the depths of winter. This year I will be tucking myself up cosily with my boy and a book, going running in preparation for the Gold Coast Half Marathon (by the way check me out here – super weird/super exciting to be nominated alongside some of my favourites), and making lots of cookies to fuel my writing and running.

Winter is coming, and in preparation for this season (like my preparation for autumn) I am giving myself a little list of things to fill  my winter days and nights.

Cooking:

Mmmm.....

Mmmm…..

Moving:

  • Going ice-skating at a local rink with some friends – Chris and I are both sure that we are going to break our legs in the attempt…
  • Winter morning walks with Mum and Molly on my cross-training days. Nothing like starting the day walking through the frost-crisped grass watching our breath form clouds in front of our faces while Molly trots along happily in front of us.
  • The Gold Coast Half Marathon is only a few weeks away now, and I know that this year I won’t meet my time goal but I am determined to just cross the finish line with a smile on my face.
  • Make use of the heated swimming pool only minutes away from my house and work on improving my lung capacity while staying warm!
Just pretty

Just pretty

Doing:

  • Printing out photos and decorating the walls of my room – it’s only been six years since we extended the house…
  • Hosting a Winter Solstice dinner for my friends. I am not a ‘Christmas in July’ person, but an observance of the season is always fun (and an excuse to make apple pie).
  • Set up a beautiful writing space to help me get through my fifteen-thousand word thesis next semester (I might need some cute organising stationery to help)
  • I still haven’t finished (or actually started, really) my scarf but this cute knitted owl blanket might have to go on my ‘When I Get Crafty’ list.

Thinking:

  • S-l-o-w-l-y digesting Cheryl Strayed’s ‘Tiny Beautiful Things’ - I could speed through it, but I want to soak in each section and absorb the wisdom of her words. Every post makes me question my reaction to life and I need time to digest the emotions and conclusions.
  • My Mum and I cried and smiled while reading Angelina Jolie’s Op-Ed for The New York Times ‘My Medical Choice’. A brave choice, a beautiful woman, and an inspiration to all of us to take charge of our health and our bodies. You are the caretaker of this vessel and it will carry you through your life if you nourish it and care for it correctly.
  • Still enjoying ‘A Clash of Kings‘ (A Song of Ice and Fire book two) and about to start Kate Atkinson’s ‘Life After Life‘. Winter is the perfect season for curling up with a book, and a blanket (and my boy) – then again what season isn’t perfect for curling up with a book?

Tell me dear readers, what are you most looking forward to this coming cold season? What gets you through the dark nights and chilly mornings?

Northern Hemisphere sweethearts, what are you most looking forward to this summer? Make me jealous of your warm days….

Stages of Grief for a Race Not Run

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This past week I have faced a difficult decision. After quite a lot of thought and conversations with my nearest and dearest, I have come to the conclusion not to line up for the race I was supposed to take part in next weekend. When I found out The Twilight Run was taking place on my actual birthday this year I got so excited. I saw a wonderful way to declare to myself that the changes I have made to my life, this identity I have created and hold so close, is really a part of me – permanently.

You'll find me here if you really need me...

You’ll find me here if you really need me…

Over the past few weeks though, I have been struggling with my running. I have been fatigued (iron depletion and a funky thyroid will do that to a girl), generally worn out, and my breathing has been giving me difficulty. I became conscious of the ever-approaching time to line up at the starting line on the 24th of March, and the expectation from myself that of course I would be racing, no matter what. Upon reflection I can see that I had already accepted that I wouldn’t be running, and I was in fact going through some variation of the Five Stages of Grief – Runner Style.

First Stage: Denial. I thought that if I just kept plodding along, limping through my runs, taking breaks to catch my breath again, and then napping whenever I could, that I would break through the fatigue barrier and come out feeling stronger and better than before.

Second Stage: Anger. After moving through the denial of my problem I became angry. Angry at my body for letting me down when I take generally good care of it. Angry at the fact that only two months ago I completed a half marathon and now I was struggling through a 4 mile slow run. Angry at myself for having so broadly advertised that I was going to take part in the race on my birthday, and now I had to back out.

Third Stage: Bargaining. I bargained with myself. Maybe if I just ran slowly. Maybe if I decreased my training a little I would feel like I would be able to complete the race more. If I just sucked it up and got on with it I wouldn’t have a problem.

Fourth Stage: Depression. I must admit that this one was more about my expectation that the people around me would be disappointed that I wasn’t running. That I had made this big claim that I was going to race on my birthday, and now I was backing out. What a silly girl. My family and friends support my running, but it is not central to their love for me. They would love me either way.

Fifth Stage: Acceptance. Now I realise that I have made the right decision for my body. I have realised that I need to heal myself first. Take a pause. Nourish my body to give it the best chance of recovering to 100%. Take a deep breath and focus on my university work, my family, and my wonderful boyfriend. Go for long walks. Take my training for the Gold Coast Half Marathon in July very slowly so that my body doesn’t get worn out.

Mooloolaba

Mooloolaba

So, instead of lining up next Sunday I am going to spend a few days at the Sunshine Coast with my darling Chris, see a movie and have dinner with my family, and then perhaps take a sojourn down the coast on Sunday the 24th. When I stand on the beach with the waves lapping at my feet I will take a deep breath, and promise myself that 26 means listening to my body more, and re-affirming the practices of living a thoroughly nourished life.

I also have to thank Kate for her brave post  last week about taking a break from running. It definitely gave me cause to think over my decision.

(P.S. I didn’t write this to play the sympathy card, I promise, more to verbalise the thoughts I had internalised over the past week).

Dear Readers, have you ever had to make the decision to pull out of something you had already signed up for? Any grief to walk away from something that was supposed to be fun?

No Day But Today: Cadbury Half Marathon 2013

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A cold and lightly windy morning greeted me as the alarm trilled in my ear this morning. Race day.

A deep breath in. A shower. A hug from Mum. Messages from the loveliest of friends all over the world and at home.

These are the moments that got me on the road this morning.

The road before us.

The road before us.

What a lovely road it was. Down from the mountain we ran, around the lake, over the water, and back again. Rising, falling: the road ahead, our footsteps, our breathing. Cheering for those who pass by. Smiles for the tired. Camaraderie created by our pursuit of a common goal.

Before.

Before.

The chant in my head, a refrain from ‘Rent: the musical’, my running mantra: ‘No Day But Today‘. I write it on my arm before every race or long run. There is no day but today, no moment to be but right here. I cannot come back tomorrow. I have to show up today and give this race the best I have. Leave it all on the road. Learn the lessons that it offers to me: stay in the present, get lost in the beauty of this moment, have faith in yourself, just breathe Amy.

Our lovely morning. These clouds parted to reveal gorgeous rays of sun and sky.

Our lovely morning. These clouds parted to reveal gorgeous rays of sun and sky.

There were moments when it felt too hard. There were moments when it felt so easy. In the end there was only one moment that mattered: the finish line.

Mum’s face in the crowd with ten meters to go. My favourite running song playing through my head phones. The cheers.

The wetness of my tears against my face as Mum wrapped her arms around me and told me how proud of me she was.

At the finish: smiley, salty, satisfied.

At the finish: smiley, salty, satisfied.

In the quietness that follows a run like this, the achievement of a goal, there is a chance to reflect on all that we are grateful for in our pursuit:

  • My family, friends, and everyone who has supported me on this journey. People I am lucky enough to be able to give a hug to and thank in person and all those I have connected with across wide web world. My heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you. I know I was not alone today because your words, your thoughts, kept me company out there on the road.
  • My body. I am so grateful to be this healthy. To have a heart that can take the rise and fall of a million beats in pursuit of a finish line. Lungs that burn in the right way as they take what they need from the air around me. Legs that have grown strong as I have made my way from the girl I used to be to the woman I am today.
Done.

Done.

Now I sit back and review each step of that 21.1km. Each second of my 2:20:47 finishing time. And I smile.

There is no day but today. And I made today mine.

Over Mountains and Deep Blue Sea

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In the hours I call night I sit and watch the sun sink behind the mountains and the lights in the old stone houses blink into life. Perched above the city, its noise filling the streets below, I warm myself with tea and let the evening breeze run through my room.

Walking with Mum through the city

Walking with Mum through the city

Over the mountains and over the sea we have travelled today. To the heart of this beautiful city; a city enfolded between the loving arms of the ocean and the hills. No sooner had we departed from the airport than I was already pondering when next I could return. Something about here calls to me, something about this place catches me.

Dinner by the wharf

Dinner by the wharf

We comforted ourselves in this new place by teaching our feet which paths to tread. We oriented our hearts with the anchor of the horizon disappearing into the sea. We nourished ourselves with local bounty, and delighted our senses with the sweetest of treats.

DSC00062

I wouldn’t mind one of these apartments.

Now, now, to sleep. Now, as the sun fades I lay my head down and dream of the wonders tomorrow will bring.

Calm, clear waters.

Calm, clear waters.

We are safely ensconced in our hotel watching Poirot and eating coconut ice. Mama had fish and chips for dinner and I dined on Greek salad. We were well fed at Mures Lower Deck. I am already falling in love with Hobart and I can’t wait to discover more of its delights tomorrow. 

Ready to Climb. Ready to Fall. Four Days to the Cadbury Half Marathon.

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Four days until the Cadbury Half Marathon and I must admit that over the past few days I have been a little apprehensive/nervous/freaked out. Now, this is not unusual for me in the countdown to a major event, and I have learned to recognise this as part of the process of training for a race or preparing for other big moments. Still, I can’t help feeling a little panicked and when Casey asked me how I was feeling about Sunday I couldn’t hide the emotion from my voice. Once again, she was the voice of reason and told me to stop thinking about this as a massive race, and just think about it as another run, just another wonderful holiday opportunity, and to remember why I run in the first place.

Of course, she is absolutely right. Thank you Case.

Casey may taste-tested these while giving me a pep talk.

Casey may have taste-tested these while giving me a pep talk.

I took a moment and looked back at my training schedule. In the past couple of weeks I’ve successfully completed 16km, 18km (by two!), and 20km training runs, so I know I can physically do this. The mental game is the only one left to play.

At the end of the day I know I am not a contender to win the race, but that was never why I started running in the first place. I run because I love the way it makes me feel. I run because doing these races over and over that I am a runner, that I belong out there on the road. I run to remind myself that I love my body and I am so grateful for the things it can do, and the way that it has changed over the past couple of years, and the fact that it belongs to me so much more now because I know its limits and I’m not afraid to push them.

In this moment I am reminded of a line from Ben Lee’s brilliant song ‘Into the Dark‘:

‘You can’t climb ’til you’re ready to fall’.

So as I step out onto the road on Sunday I am ready to fall.

Fall into the rhythm of the road. Fall into the pursuit of the finish line. Fall into the beauty of my life at the moment. Fall into the wonderful possibilities that this new year has brought to my door.

I am ready to fall so that I may climb.

Not burnt: caramelised.

Not burnt: caramelised.

Spiced White Chocolate Muffins

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup plain flour
  • 1 cup wholemeal plain flour
  • 3 teaspoons baking powder
  • 3/4 cup sugar
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1 cup low fat plain natural yoghurt
  • 1/4 cup low fat milk
  • 2 teaspoon vanilla essence
  • 1 egg
  • 1/4 cup rice bran oil
  • 3/4 cup white chocolate chips

Method:

  1. Preheat your oven to 200C (390F) and line 18 cups of two 12-cup capacity muffin tins with pretty papers.
  2. In a large bowl whisk together the flours, baking powder, sugar, and cinnamon. Form a well in the centre.
  3. In a separate bowl whisk together the yoghurt, milk, vanilla, egg, and oil until they are well blended.
  4. Add wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and whisk until almost combined. Do not over mix your muffins or you will end up with a tough crumb.
  5. Sprinkle chocolate chips into batter and mix in until distributed. If there are a few streaks of flour in the batter this is okay as long as there are no large pockets of flour. This is quite a thick batter.
  6. Distribute batter between muffin cups and bake for 12-15 minutes or until the tops spring back when lightly pressed.
  7. Remove from the oven and allow to cool for 5 minutes in the tins and then place on a wire rack to cool completely.
Just gotta trust these babies and the work they've done over the past months.

Just gotta trust these babies and the work they’ve done over the past months.

Share with loved ones who give you the courage to fall so that you can climb again.

Tell me, dear reader, do you ever have to remind yourself to let go and just fall? Where do you find the courage to let go? Is there anything you are falling into at the moment?

This is the New Year, and a new beginning

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Hello, is this thing on?

Tap…tap….

Oh, there you are!

Hello everyone (sheepish grin and ducking of head implied)…I’m back in the digital world and ready for the new year. I hope you all had a safe and merry Christmas, and hopeful, champagne-filled new year celebrations.

2012 was a restful year for this lady, and as the sun bid farewell to the 2012 summer sky I took a deep breath and realised that I am ready for a vibrant, busy, hectically-scheduled 2013: bring on the adventures, the multi-tasking and the candle-burning.

For me New Year’s Eve was spent in the company of family and friends who I consider my family enjoying food and wine and conversation. By midnight I was back home and when the fireworks began I was wrapped in the arms of a new adventure. A new beginning. My someone special.

My life is even more nourished by his presence.

Beach just after dawn

Mooloolaba, Queensland

Now that the scotch glasses, chocolate wrappers, and Scrabble board have been cleared away and the house has had a new year clean to chase out the dust of the old year, I can sit back and ponder my goals for the next twelve months. 2013 is an open book. Blank pages of days spread out before me. This year I vow to pick up the pen, to dash out lines on every page, to scribble and doodle in the margins, write longhand letters and post-it note lists, to draw out every word that hides and lurks and tumbles about in my mind and use them to colour my life.

I have rested enough. I am recharged, and ready to come out of hibernation.

Over a cup of green tea this evening I plotted out some of the big things that I would like to achieve in 2013: ways to nourish my mind, body, and soul over the next year.

 Thoroughly nourished mind:

  • Finish my Masters in Writing, Editing, and Publishing
  • Write, and write, and write, and write!! (followed by edit, edit, edit, edit, and submit, submit, submit)

 Thoroughly nourished body:

  • Run three half marathons
    • January 13th – Cadbury Half Marathon (it’s getting so close!)
    • July – Gold Coast Half Marathon (hopefully with some of my favourite Aussie blogger ladies)
    • The third is yet to be decided, but perhaps Melbourne?
  • Run a race on my birthday: the Twilight 10km is actually on my birthday this year! What a great way to usher in 26!
  • Make a concerted effort to eat more iron-rich vegetarian foods (more on this soon)

Thoroughly nourished soul:

  • Find some way to reach out in my community
  • Schedule regular dates and dinner parties with my friends and family
  • Bring delicious, diverse food to the table and share the recipes with you, dear readers
Just after dawn

Just after dawn

These are the larger picture goals that I would like to achieve this year, and there are so many other little bits and pieces I am longing to achieve and share with you all. I feel as though 2012 was a year for me to regain myself after a whirlwind 2011 that tore at the fibres of my being and forced me to grow rather quickly. 2012 was a year to celebrate the people around me, to share in their joy and special days. 2012 was a year of learning: academic and personal. 2012 was a year to make new friends too (hello my special lovelies – Kate, Cait, Jenelle, and Julia, among others). 2012 was the year that I reminded myself, just like Dorothy, that there really is no place like home.

Here is to 2013, to new adventures, to friends and family, new beginnings, distant roads, and hearts that will always guide us home.

So, dear reader, what new beginnings are you looking forward to in 2013?

Good Things: Early to Rise

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Moments where the stillness of the world, and the fogginess of the dawn, reflect into your own heart, and calm the tides of your thoughts, are rare in this world. I believe when we get the chance to welcome peace and quiet into our hearts that we should embrace it with open arms. I seek peaceful moments in my life and at the moment, although I spend a lot of time alone and lost in my thoughts, I need them, I crave them. If only to still me for a little while. To allow me to escape the loops and whirls of the million thoughts carousing in my brain.

Early Thursday morning I set out to follow Mum and Molly on their usual walk to the dog park. Every morning, summer and winter, Mum gets up before dawn and takes our three-legged lady for a stroll (well, she’s a malamute so it’s never really a stroll). Sometimes, I wake early to accompany them for the first mile of my run. Yesterday the day dawned foggy. So foggy that it was like walking into the set of a real life Brigadoon. Through the mists we strode, four rugged up human feet and three dancing, prancing puppy paws. The pastel streaks of a winter sunrise bloomed across the sky and our breaths came out in small steam train puffs as we crunched through the dew-tipped grass.

I left Mama and Molly in the company of their furry friends, and companion humans, and continued on my way. I started by telling myself that I would just walk; just saturate myself in the quiet of the morning and the expanse that one senses in the hours before most of the world awakens – my favourite time of the day. However, inside me there was the need to run, to chase the fleeting dawn, and to arrive breathless, sweating, and warm back at home where I could revive with a nice sweet cup of tea. So I did. I ran up hill and over dale, and felt the chilled air slicing into my lungs as I sucked deep breathes greedily in after climbing the hill. I ran, and found freedom just in the movement, and stillness despite the racing of my heart.

The rest of the suburb came to life around me, and busy people made their way to work, and school, and onto the other things, the bigger things that consume our thoughts. Here I was though, with that hour and a bit of quiet, of recalibration, of stillness in movement. A place, a sweaty memory, that I could retreat back to when I needed to calm myself in the crush of bodies, and other people’s minds and thoughts, that makes up our daily life. I am lucky. These are the good things in my life. The good moments of just being. Not expecting anything of myself other than to keep putting one foot in front of the other; not expecting any more of the world than the new light of day, and a path beneath my feet.

So dear reader, where do you find your stillness? Are you a dawn chaser like me, or a night owl?